Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Breaking via Telegram:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Just landed via TikTok:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Trending via Telegram:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Spotted on WeChat:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Just landed via TikTok:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Just landed via Slack:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Going viral on Threads:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your brain hits the emotional refresh button and you're suddenly over it 😂✨ #FreedomDay #JustLikeThat

breakup, day, free, freedom, girl, girls, healing, humor, just, process, recovery, relationship, wake

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

0

2 months ago

angel, break, divine, divine intervention, guardian, guardian angel, history, humor, intervention, irony, longest, procrastination, smoking, smoking break, taking
Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, i, irony, oh, overthinking, sarcasm, think, worry
If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

0

2 months ago

cheese, humor, irony, love, mad, people, smell, someone
Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

0

2 months ago

before, breakup, broke, communication, computer, computers, friend, friendship, humor, mutual, mutual friend, night, printer, printers, relationship, technology, treat
Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

0

1 month ago

dating, humor, liar, loser, oh, relationship, sarcasm, situationship
A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

0

2 months ago

animal, baby, baby cow, calf, cow, half, humor, joke, pun, questions, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Threads this month:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

31 shares on X this month:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

98 shares on Slack this month:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Live now on WeChat:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Seen just now on Discord:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Just shared via Messenger:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Live now on TikTok:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Live now on Instagram:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Making waves on Threads:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨