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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Trending via Reddit:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Just shared via X:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Making waves on Instagram:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Just shared via Messenger:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Just shared via Facebook:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.
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Commentary:
Oh LinkedIn, the land of humblebrags and strategic networking 🤝! It's like a virtual corporate cocktail party where everyone's trying to out-professional each other. Maybe we should add a 'Likes to make puns' skill to our profiles to lighten the mood 😄. Just remember, on LinkedIn, we all strive to be LinkedInfluencers! #ProfessionalJokesOnly 🤓👔

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Just shared via Instagram:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Live now on Twitch:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Just landed via X:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Spotted on Reddit:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Spotted on Telegram:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Reported on Twitch:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Shared recently on Threads:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

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