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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,020

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Just landed via Messenger:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Going viral on WeChat:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Making waves on Twitch:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Still waiting for that time therapy to kick in! ⏰🙄😂

anger, emotion, frustration, healing, mad, sarcasm, say, still, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

1 month ago

accessory, bold, bold style, boost, confidence, confidence boost, empowerment, example, fashion, feel, humor, i, know, me, personality, quirky, self-confidence, sexier, style, sword, times
My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

1 month ago

favorite, humor, music, pirate, pun, song, tiger
The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

1 month ago

aging, daily, daily routine, day, funny observation, humor, humor quote, i, just, morning, observation, older, rooster, routine, scream, start, understand, wake up, why
I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

1 month ago

away, block, boundary, going, house, humor, i, internet, me, own, people, phone, right, self-care, stress
I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

2 months ago

always, cheeseburger, food, heart, humor, i, love, me, mixed, mixed signals, relationship, signals, understand, women
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

1 month ago

every, eyes, gender, gender roles, great, great man, humor, man, relationship, roles, rolling, rolling eyes, sarcasm, woman

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Trending via WeChat:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Just shared via WeChat:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Just shared via TikTok:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Spotted on X:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Trending via TikTok:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

That looks like a problem for someone else.

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

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They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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