Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Shared recently on Discord:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Making waves on TikTok:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Spotted on Discord:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Spotted on TikTok:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Live now on YouTube:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Live now on Instagram:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Shared recently on Slack:

Salary week, but salary weak.

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When in doubt, let’s just rename cereal "gourmet crunch" and call it a night! 🥣😋✨

craving, dinner, food, good, humor, invent, invention, meal, should, sounds, tonight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

0

2 months ago

alone, companionship, humor, loneliness, mold, never
I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, identity, individuality, me, problem, self-expression
I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

0

2 months ago

assistant, communication, humor, i, light, light up, say, Siri, someone, technology, voice, voice assistant, wish
I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

0

2 months ago

earn, finance, generous, giving, humor, i, irresponsible, money, sarcasm, spending, take, understand
I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

0

2 months ago

age, coffee, cup, drink, home, humor, i, morning, old, real, real cup, still
I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, believe, family, generosity, gift, give, humor, i, money, nephew, niece, responsibility, turn

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Discord this month:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

71 shares on Threads this month:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

78 shares on Discord this month:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

84 shares on Slack this month:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Just shared via Messenger:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Live now on TikTok:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Spotted on Instagram:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Seen just now on Slack:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Just landed via Threads:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Just landed via Discord:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨