Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Trending via Threads:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Just landed via Reddit:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Just shared via Reddit:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Going bananas on Slack:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Just landed via X:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Just landed via X:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When in doubt, let’s just rename cereal "gourmet crunch" and call it a night! 🥣😋✨

craving, dinner, food, good, humor, invent, invention, meal, should, sounds, tonight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

0

2 months ago

anatomy, arms, confusion, education, even, figure, humor, i, medical, medical school, position, school, sleep, sleep position, teach, where
People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

0

2 months ago

back, bad, fear, fruit, having, humor, me, much, people, please, scare, sugar, talk, too, wicked, witch
Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

0

2 months ago

blowing, chat, communication, distraction, frustration, group, group chat, humor, nothing, patience, phone, tests, texting
If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

0

6 months ago

again, determination, door, going, humor, just, motivation, open, persistence
An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

0

2 months ago

asked, better, bohemian, Bohemian Rhapsody, humor, i, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, management, me, much, music, performance, pressure, rhapsody, said, singing, stress, stress management, under, well
The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, death, died, dude, humor, joke, piece, restaurant, technology, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Being strange is exhausting.

34 shares on Threads this month:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

18 shares on X this month:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

97 shares on X this month:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Breaking via Telegram:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Seen just now on X:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Trending via Telegram:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Making waves on Telegram:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Broadcasted on X:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨