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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Shared recently on Discord:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Shared recently on Facebook:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Live now on Twitch:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Trending via Reddit:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Seen just now on Slack:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Life's true curriculum: mastering the art of navigating sticky menus and deciphering cryptic specials! 🍽️😂

advice, diner, experience, food, going, humor, life, little, school, teach, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

2 months ago

beer, black, color, compatibility, drink, everything, fun, humor
Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

2 months ago

appearance, asking, honesty, humor, i, just, me, self-deprecation, stop, tired, ugly
I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

2 months ago

closed, eye, good, humor, rest, skill, sleeping, talent
Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

2 months ago

afford, bill, color, different, expense, finance, humor, i, irony, pay, same, sarcasm, well
Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

2 months ago

again, beauty, beauty routine, blow-drying, grooming, humor, legs, need, routine, self-care, shave, time, too
When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

2 months ago

away, disgust, embarrass, kids, mutter, public, raised, turn

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Just shared via YouTube:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Live now on Reddit:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Trending via Telegram:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Just landed via YouTube:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Spotted on Reddit:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Shared recently on Slack:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Just landed via Facebook:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨