Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Broadcasted on X:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Going viral on Reddit:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Trending via Twitch:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Spotted on Telegram:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Spotted on Messenger:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Live now on X:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I get up, my body sounds like a bowl of Rice Krispies! 🍚😆🔊

adult, age, comedy, every, groan, grown up, humor, humor quote, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

2 months ago

fruit, humor, joke, let, let go, mango, need, pun, puns, relationship
I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

2 months ago

closet, fashion, humor, i, joke, money, spending, visibility, wealth
The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

2 months ago

chores, clean, clean house, cleaning, conflict, house, laziness, motivation, move, procrastination, relax, struggle, Sunday, wanting
Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

2 months ago

day, entertainment, every, exercise, floor, humor, i, laziness, people, procrastination, relaxation, remote, right, show, TV, watching
Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

2 months ago

bathroom, boss, going, home, honesty, humor, i, joke, miscommunication, prank, say, told, workplace
Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

1 week ago

distraction, etiquette, humor, invent, invention, movie, needs, phone, roof, seat, someone, take, technology, theater, theater seat, through

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

85 shares on X this month:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

52 shares on Slack this month:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Trending via Messenger:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Shared recently on Discord:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Live now on Discord:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Just landed via Threads:

I am thick and tired.

Going viral on Threads:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Spotted on WeChat:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨