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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Just shared via Twitch:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

Just shared via Twitch:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Spotted on WeChat:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Going bananas on Threads:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about procrastinating on garage cleaning with a humorous household vibe.

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Commentary:
I'll be observing from my supervisory chair with a coffee, for motivational support and all! 😂☕️🪑

chore, clean, cleaning, garage, great, humor, people, procrastination, weekend, wife

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74 shares on Messenger this month:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Going viral on Telegram:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Making waves on Twitch:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Spotted on X:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Going bananas on Instagram:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Trending via Telegram:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

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Activity Log ✨

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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