Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Making waves on Instagram:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Spotted on Reddit:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

3 weeks ago

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Commentary:
I'll be observing from my supervisory chair with a coffee, for motivational support and all! 😂☕️🪑

chore, clean, cleaning, garage, great, humor, people, procrastination, weekend, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

0

1 month ago

afterlife, death, God, going, humor, irony, maker, meet, mingle, people, say, someone, staff
Short men store so much anger in their little body.

0

1 month ago

anger, body, comedy, humor, little, men, much, short, short men, size, store
Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

0

4 months ago

beautiful, beauty, creativity, give, home, just, phrase, poem, sometimes, whole, writing
People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

0

1 month ago

effort, hard, humor, park, people, realization, realize, ride, support
If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

0

2 months ago

bad, humor, nature, only, oxygen, plant, planting, produce, technology, thing, too, trees, Wi-Fi, wifi
That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

0

5 months ago

air, beep, drum, drum solo, humor, In the Air Tonight, just, kitchen, kitchen humor, me, microwave, music, music parody, parody, slap, solo, tonight, tummy, tummy slap, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WeChat this month:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

98 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Just landed via Threads:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Spreading quickly via X:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Spotted on X:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨