Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Spotted on X:

Coffee is just goth water.

Broadcasted on X:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Just shared via Slack:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a grueling Ironman when you can conquer the challenge of consecutive social gatherings?! 🎉🏊‍♂️🚴‍♂️🏃‍♂️🥂 #SocialButterfly"

3, achievement, activity, announce, announcement, celebration, days, event, fun, fun activity, gathering, gatherings, i, Ironman, social, social gathering, thrill, thrilled, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

0

2 months ago

asking, enjoy, enjoyment, everything, humor, irony, just, last, me, media, memory, moment, night, recording, social, social media, stop, video, videos
Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

0

2 months ago

feelings, humor, i, lot, plan, planned, relationship, surprise
When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

0

2 months ago

expectations, hell, house, humor, husband, i, just, know, minute, paint, procrastination, quest, relationship, series, sery, television, time, watch
Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

0

2 months ago

being, cat, companionship, friends, friendship, hang, having, humor, independence, never, ownership, pet, pet ownership, roommate, sarcasm, want
I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

0

2 months ago

40, 6, adulting, beverages, cheese, coffee, drinking, humor, percentages, wine
The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

0

5 months ago

answer, anxiety, call, calling, fear, friend’s house, friends, generation, house, know, never, parent, parents, phone, younger, younger generation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Messenger this month:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

25 shares on Slack this month:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

11 shares on Threads this month:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

63 shares on YouTube this month:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Just landed via Instagram:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Trending via Messenger:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Spotted on X:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Going viral on Slack:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Breaking via Discord:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨