Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Going viral on Messenger:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Just shared via Facebook:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a grueling Ironman when you can conquer the challenge of consecutive social gatherings?! 🎉🏊‍♂️🚴‍♂️🏃‍♂️🥂 #SocialButterfly"

3, achievement, activity, announce, announcement, celebration, days, event, fun, fun activity, gathering, gatherings, i, Ironman, social, social gathering, thrill, thrilled, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

0

2 months ago

choice, humor, irony, life, preciou, time, waste, wisely
If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

0

3 months ago

advice, baffle, bullshit, communication, humor, sarcasm, wisdom, wit
After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

0

2 months ago

after, afterlife, appear, appearance, busy, day, death, every, getting, ghost, haunt, humor, i, list, longer, people, want, wish
But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

0

2 months ago

calls, conversation, humor, irony, nice, phone, prison, unexpected
There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

0

2 months ago

break, day, hang, humor, Monday, pause, second, should, Sunday, time, weekend
I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

0

2 months ago

composition, congratulations, flattery, humor, i, post, read, sexy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

82 shares on Slack this month:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

My parents think they know me.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Going viral on X:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Going viral on X:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Going viral on Slack:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Trending via WeChat:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨