Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Going viral on WeChat:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Live now on Reddit:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Just landed via Telegram:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Making waves on Pinterest:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Going viral on Telegram:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess my nose is just part of the home team 🤷‍♂️🏠👃

experience, Funny, house, houses, humor, i, mine, observation, personal, personal experience, smell, talk, today, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

4 months ago

cheese, comfort, comfort food, difficult, difficult time, food, humor, important, positivity, remember, time, times
Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

2 months ago

across, ask, driving, Google, Google Maps, humor, left, left turn, maps, navigation, needs, oncoming, oncoming traffic, safety, setting, take, traffic, turn, where
People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

3 months ago

abs, chocolate, cravings, dieting, difference, fitness, humor, i, need, people, priorities, understand, want
Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

2 months ago

age, aging, ask, coffee, humor, lifestyle, love, me, older, why
Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

5 months ago

9, communication, hours, humor, leave, money, patience, read, relationship, texting
Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

2 months ago

anxiety, anxious, brain, confusion, everything, existential, humor, i, matter, need, nothing, thought

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

58 shares on X this month:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Just shared via Reddit:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Just shared via Facebook:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Going viral on TikTok:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Just landed via Messenger:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Trending via Reddit:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Just shared via Messenger:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Making waves on Discord:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨