Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

70 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,339

Funny Quotes Topics

17,458

Funny Quotes Images

15,339

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Just shared via Slack:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Making waves on X:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Looks like we're about to uncover some ancient secrets from the school of hard knocks! 🥚📜😆

activity, bible, Bible parody, humor, joke, night, night activity, old, parody, pun, read, reading, testicle, tonight, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

0

2 months ago

birthday, forget, forgetfulness, humor, ignore, laundry, Masters, men, multitasking, once, relationships, sports, stereotypes, watch
Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

0

2 months ago

counseling, health, humor, letting, life, manager, mental, mental health, relief, self-care, speak, stress, stress relief, therapy
If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

0

3 weeks ago

air, annoying, annoying behavior, behavior, finger, finger quotation, humor, interaction, introduction, job, job title, little, prank, quotation, sarcasm, social, social interaction, someone, title
No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

0

6 months ago

awkwardness, dirty, dirty talk, every, hope, humor, i, insult, revenge, someone, stutter, talk, time, try
The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, casino, date, dating, dating joke, event, every, funny event, gambling, hosting, humor, joke, just, local, needs, new, problem, relationship, relationship humor, speed, speed date, woman
My favourite animal is me when I have money.

0

5 months ago

animal, favorite, favourite, humor, i, me, money, self-love, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

89 shares on Facebook this month:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Just landed via Telegram:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Going viral on Twitch:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Going viral on Pinterest:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Going bananas on X:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨