Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Going bananas on YouTube:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Live now on TikTok:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Breaking via WeChat:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Freshly posted on X:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Making waves on Facebook:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living life on the edge… or at least on the southpaw side! 🍽️😅🙃

challenge, daily, daily life, eat, eating, excitement, hand, humor, i, left, left hand, life, little, need, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

0

2 months ago

expectations, feel, handle, honesty, humor, i, imagine, just, me, relationship, self-awareness, worst
*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

0

2 months ago

baby, bothering, guy, humor, joke, mother, pointing, shrieking
Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

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2 months ago

award, criticism, humor, magazine, person, satire, should, time, worst, Worst Person, year
I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

0

2 months ago

AirPods, dependency, die, frustration, hate, humor, i, irony, life, me, technology
My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

0

2 months ago

before, behavior, child, child behavior, dislike, eater, even, food, food dislike, humor, kid, kids, knowing, parenting, picky, picky eater, superpower
Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

0

2 months ago

advice, apps, directions, humor, just, map, mean, note, paved, road, self, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Facebook this month:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

64 shares on Discord this month:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Going viral on YouTube:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Making waves on Facebook:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Going viral on Reddit:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Just shared via Twitch:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Trending via Slack:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby Is this guy bothering you?

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby Is this guy bothering you?