Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Just landed via Instagram:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Spotted on X:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Going viral on Instagram:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Going viral on Messenger:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Just landed via Twitch:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Just shared via Snapchat:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a busy day of multitasking in the art of doing nothing! 🛋️😂🕰️

humor, laziness, management, nothingness, procrastination, schedule, squeeze, time, time management, today, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

2 months ago

behavior, good, good behavior, humor, just, new, new start, recommend, recommendation, someone, start
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, caterpillar, eat, humor, i, laziness, self-care, sleep, transformation, wake, want
He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

2 months ago

activity, death, died, doing, funny activity, gang, gang member, humor, irony, love, member, ticklish, trying
Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

2 months ago

activity, computer, dating, fine, humor, irony, relationship, technology
I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

2 months ago

bed, coffee, daily, daily life, day, enough, humor, i, laziness, life, morning, morning routine, relaxation, routine, simple, simple life, start, start of day, think, woke
It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

1 month ago

accomplish, amazing, around, before, cleaning, coming, house, housework, humor, i, motivation, much, over, preparation, procrastination, productivity, right, someone, visitor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Telegram this month:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

17 shares on Discord this month:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Just shared via Messenger:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Trending via Threads:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Just shared via Discord:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Live now on Reddit:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Seen just now on Discord:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Just shared via Twitch:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Making waves on Reddit:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨