Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.