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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Breaking via Threads:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Shared recently on Discord:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Going viral on YouTube:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Just shared via Slack:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Just landed via YouTube:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Breaking via Twitch:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Just landed via Slack:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When introverts finally find the caps lock key 😂🦥 #ExtremeSocializing

behavior, gone, humor, introvert, media, online, online behavior, social, social media, Twitter, wild

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

0

2 months ago

culture, entertainment, every, haunted, haunted house, house, humor, Jada, just, learning, pop, pop culture, relationship, room, spooky, Will
Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

0

2 months ago

AI, assume, assumption, everyone, humor, i, just, lie, life, modern, modern life, technology
Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

0

2 months ago

drunk, drunk shopping, experience, grocery, grocery shopping, humor, hunger, hungry, online, online shopping, relatable, relatable humor, shopping, shopping experience
Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

0

2 months ago

after, anything, appetizer, eat, eating, food, humor, logic, meal, portions, snack
Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, brunch, combination, dinner, food, humor, lunch, meal, wine, winner
Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

0

5 months ago

animal, conversation, cow, day, enjoying, every, humor, imagination, imagine, me, moo, nature, saying, Switzerland, view

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Slack this month:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

25 shares on Threads this month:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

81 shares on Slack this month:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

19 shares on Discord this month:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

The government even made aliens boring.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Going viral on Twitch:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Making waves on Instagram:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Going viral on Facebook:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Live now on Facebook:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨