Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Spreading quickly via X:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Going viral on Instagram:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Just landed via Discord:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Shared recently on Discord:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Going viral on Messenger:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Spotted on Discord:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Twitter: where everyone's thoughts are on display, but sanity is nowhere to be found! 🐦🤪 #BirdsOfAFeather #CrazyTweets"

commentary, community, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, online, online community, psych, psych ward, social, social media, staff, Twitter, ward

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, falling, humor, irony, just, leave, love, maybe, me, problems, relationships, self-deprecation, too
Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

0

2 months ago

away, bounce, funny idea, hear, humor, idea, invention, me, practicality, Q-Tip, throw, trash, trash can
80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

0

2 months ago

argument, arguments, eaten, food, humor, hunger, mood, patience, relationship, someone, start
My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad turn, family, humor, just, kids, less, parenting, relationship, resolution, taken, turn, wife, yell
Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

0

6 days ago

commitment, fear, humor, i, marriage, mean, own, relationship, room, scary
My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

0

2 months ago

activity, dance, dance move, favorite, getting, getting out, humor, move, own, self, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Seen just now on Discord:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Spotted on YouTube:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Making waves on Twitch:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Going viral on Facebook:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨