Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Live now on Twitch:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Just landed via Reddit:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Spotted on Facebook:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Just landed via TikTok:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Spotted on Telegram:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Going bananas on Threads:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Twitter: where everyone's thoughts are on display, but sanity is nowhere to be found! 🐦🤪 #BirdsOfAFeather #CrazyTweets"

commentary, community, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, online, online community, psych, psych ward, social, social media, staff, Twitter, ward

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

0

2 months ago

alien, among, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, live, living, living among, me, observation, people, social, social interaction, undetected
How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

0

2 months ago

again, clutter, digital, digital clutter, forget, funny observation, habit, never, observation, procrastination, screenshot, something, take, technology
I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, irritate, irritation, issues, me, motivational, self-awareness
I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

0

2 months ago

always, horrible, horrible stalker, humor, ID, joke, late, procrastination, stalker
Did you seriously just pique my interest?

0

2 months ago

curiosity, expression, humor, interest, just, phrase, sarcasm, seriously, surprise
My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

0

2 months ago

aid, communication, compromise, happy, hearing, hearing aid, humor, husband, key, marriage, needs, refusal, refuses, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

17 shares on X this month:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

94 shares on Discord this month:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Seen just now on Slack:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Breaking via Threads:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Going viral on Slack:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨