Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Going viral on Slack:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Trending via YouTube:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Just landed via Telegram:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Trending via Threads:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Spotted on YouTube:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Trending via TikTok:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Unfollowers, take me with you!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Unfollowers, don't leave me hanging! I promise I won't take it personally… 🚶‍♂️😅 #LonelyUnfollower #CleaningUpMyFeed"

disconnect, humor, me, media, relationship, social, social media, take, unfollower

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

0

2 months ago

comedy, control, everyone, family, household, humor, husband, i, joke, looking, minute, need, relationship, remote, remote control, stand, stand-up
I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

0

2 months ago

activity, exercise, funny activity, humor, jog, jogging, jogging pant, kitchen, kitchen roll, pant, pants, roll
Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

0

2 months ago

flirt, fun, humor, need, promise, relationship, spontaneity, today, tomorrow
I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

0

2 months ago

came, enjoy, heat, humor, ID, lot, me, mist, produce, refreshment, someone, summer
Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

0

2 months ago

activity, count, eating, fun, fun activity, hiking, humor, mix, outdoor, should, snack, trail, trail mix
I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

0

4 months ago

emotional, emotional release, frustration, humor, i, life, literally, mountain, need, overstimulation, release, relief, scream, stress, stress relief, top

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

77 shares on Instagram this month:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Going viral on YouTube:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Just landed via TikTok:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Shared recently on Twitch:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Just landed via TikTok:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Just shared via WeChat:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨