Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Shared recently on Slack:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Spotted on Threads:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Going viral on TikTok:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oops, I've gone rogue! Someone alert the authorities! 🚨😜🕵️‍♀️

attitude, determination, doing, everyone, freedom, humor, i, independence, keep, stubbornness, unfortunately, want, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

0

3 months ago

better, chess, conflict, face, game, getting, going, humor, opponent, play, response, sit, strategy, unexpected, unexpected response, violence
Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

0

2 months ago

cooperation, funny observation, having, insist, ironic, irony, language, observation, own, pronunciation, sounds, vowel, wordplay
My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

0

2 months ago

fighter, health, humor, immune, immune system, lover, me, personality, system
Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

0

4 months ago

energy, extrovert, humor, interaction, introvert, love, personality, social, social interaction, suck, us, why
Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

0

2 months ago

character, contrast, existence, humor, parody, shady, slim, Slim Shady, sunny, thicc, Thicc Sunny, wordplay
Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

0

2 months ago

enough, everyone, except, good, humor, i, me, mood, morning, morning mood, sarcasm, sleep, tired, wake, wake up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Messenger this month:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

88 shares on Threads this month:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Seen just now on Threads:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Just landed via Threads:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Trending via Discord:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨