Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Making waves on X:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Just landed via Messenger:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Just shared via WeChat:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oops, I've gone rogue! Someone alert the authorities! 🚨😜🕵️‍♀️

attitude, determination, doing, everyone, freedom, humor, i, independence, keep, stubbornness, unfortunately, want, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

0

5 months ago

chic, classy, crash, crying, diva, driver, drivers, driving, keep, lane, little, next, over, something, while
I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

0

1 month ago

before, black, Black Friday, consumer, deal, deals, discount, Friday, humor, i, item, just, love, price, sale, shopping, tariff, tariffs, year
I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

0

2 months ago

encounter, everyone, hair, house, humor, i, know, left, makeup, relatable, run, sure, wet
And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

0

2 months ago

add, add to cart, cart, coping, coping mechanism, humor, mechanism, online, online shopping, sad, sadness, shopping
Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

0

2 months ago

bar, comedy, fart, humor, i, joke, me, pun, sarcasm, tonight, work, workplace, workplace humor
Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

0

2 months ago

call, confession, deserve, drama, dramatic, emotion, humor, i, love, me, rain, relationship, romantic, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

15 shares on Slack this month:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

26 shares on Threads this month:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Trending via YouTube:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Live now on YouTube:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Just landed via Reddit:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Shared recently on Twitch:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨