Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Making waves on Messenger:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Trending via Instagram:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Spotted on Messenger:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Going bananas on TikTok:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Live now on Pinterest:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Trending via Snapchat:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Breaking the family tradition of doing what you're supposed to! 🎉🤪 #Trailblazer

am, choice, family, humor, i, independence, individualism, person, personal, personal choice, unfortunately, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

0

2 months ago

animals, cat, cats, convinced, Earth, explosion, feet, humor, land, landing, moon, safely, safety, space, whimsical
Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

0

2 months ago

confusion, favorite, Fliccaroni, food, Googling, humor, i, joke, pasta, real, say, sure, too, types
Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

0

2 months ago

appetite, craving, eating, emotion, feel, finish, food, humor, hunger, hungry, i, just, love, moment, need, realize, relationship, self-awareness, sometimes
You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

0

2 months ago

approval, ask, call, confidence, dating, girls, humor, i, me, parental, parental approval, parents, sarcasm, scare, situation, social, social situation, teenage, used, wit
Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

0

3 months ago

accidentally, care, feel, gel, humor, i, identity, lying, men, mistake, myself, personal, personal care, reason, shower, shower gel, today, used
Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

0

2 months ago

ever, humor, just, laziness, mood, morning, relatable, wake, wake up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

16 shares on Slack this month:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Live now on Messenger:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Going viral on Threads:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Going viral on Reddit:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Breaking via Twitch:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Spotted on YouTube:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Making waves on Telegram:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨