Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Shared recently on X:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Just landed via Messenger:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Trending via YouTube:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Trending via Pinterest:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Just shared via TikTok:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew paper towels could be a status symbol? 💸🧻 Just imagine the envy at the posh paper towel parties! ✨😂 #FancyAbsorbency"

habit, humor, i, irony, lifestyle, much, paper, paper towel, self-deprecation, towel, unfortunately, wealth, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

2 months ago

death, die, existence, humor, irony, just, life, password, resetting, struggle, technology
Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

2 months ago

activity, confuse, confusion, doctor, funny activity, glof, hack, humor, life, life hack, prank, putting, same, time
I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

3 weeks ago

change, city, city life, good, humor, i, life, life change, me, miserable, misery, move, need, new, New York, sarcasm, think, york
I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

2 months ago

anxiety, awkward, awkwardness, conversation, culture, fill, gagnam, Gagnam Style, humor, i, K-pop, need, pause, pop, pop culture, saying, self-awareness, social, social anxiety, stop, style
My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

2 months ago

adventure, aspiration, bag, big, career, goal, humor, main, moment, money, treasure, woods
All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

7 hours ago

activity, favorite, favorite activity, humor, laziness, mattress, relaxation, sleep

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

46 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Just shared via TikTok:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Spotted on TikTok:

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

Seen just now on Messenger:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Breaking via YouTube:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Breaking via Telegram:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Going viral on WeChat:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨