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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Trending via Threads:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Live now on Discord:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Going viral on Telegram:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Spotted on YouTube:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the summer folks are down, my spirit does the Macarena! 🕺🌞🎉

change, humor, irony, mourning, only, people, season, seasonal, seasonal change, spirit, summer, terrible, unfortunately, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

0

2 months ago

another, conclusion, discussion, end, everything, humor, irony, meeting, meetings, needs, office, procrastination, work
Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

0

2 months ago

age, around, candy, childhood, cigarettes, humor, innocence, memory, nostalgia, smokers, thing, used
There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

0

2 months ago

celebration, day, enemy, humor, Instagram, love, opposite, photos, post, rivalry, should, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day, where
I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

0

2 months ago

away, door, front, humor, i, joke, keep, money, paycheck, picture, prank, solicitors
Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

0

2 months ago

explain, explanation, feelings, humor, just, misunderstanding, thoughts, woman, womansplaining, wrong
My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

0

2 months ago

catch, change, friend, friends, home, house, humor, i, just, life, life change, nature, outside, pet, release, spider, survive

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

64 shares on Discord this month:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

65 shares on Slack this month:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

46 shares on Discord this month:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Trending via Twitch:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Live now on Pinterest:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Trending via WeChat:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Trending via Twitch:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨