Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Just shared via Slack:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Just landed via Twitch:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Going bananas on Slack:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sorry, I’m late. I was pumping up the jam.

Going viral on Telegram:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Just landed via Twitch:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Just shared via TikTok:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about summer visitors boosting spirits during their tough season.

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Commentary:
When the summer folks are down, my spirit does the Macarena! 🕺🌞🎉

change, humor, irony, mourning, only, people, season, seasonal, seasonal change, spirit, summer, terrible, unfortunately, weather

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Messenger this month:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

29 shares on Discord this month:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Live now on Snapchat:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Live now on Telegram:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Trending via Slack:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Breaking via Facebook:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Making waves on Slack:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Going viral on Reddit:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Trending via Instagram:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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