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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,309

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Trending via Instagram:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Going viral on Pinterest:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Making waves on Instagram:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Trending via Instagram:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the summer folks are down, my spirit does the Macarena! 🕺🌞🎉

change, humor, irony, mourning, only, people, season, seasonal, seasonal change, spirit, summer, terrible, unfortunately, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

0

1 week ago

around, ask, awkwardness, customer, humor, indecision, interaction, member, normal, person, shop, shopping, social, social interaction, something, staff, times, walk, works
Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

0

2 months ago

appointment, dental, dentist, humor, joke, late, me, should, start, tell
Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

0

2 months ago

brain, humor, mental, mental state, mood, properly, sarcasm, state, think, today
Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bring, expectations, humor, i, know, madness, men, place, relationship, tell
Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

0

2 months ago

adventure, anything, curiosity, exploration, fun, going, hole, rabbit, rabbit hole, request, wants
If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

0

2 months ago

dinosaur, getting, history, humor, joke, pet, repeat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Messenger this month:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

84 shares on TikTok this month:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

87 shares on Slack this month:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

88 shares on Threads this month:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Going viral on Reddit:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Going viral on Reddit:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Just shared via WeChat:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Just shared via Threads:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Going viral on Threads:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨