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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Making waves on Slack:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Going viral on TikTok:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Just shared via Facebook:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Spotted on Messenger:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

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Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When life gives you piñatas, make sure the kids have plenty of candy and controlled chaos! 😂🍬🎉"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Twitch this month:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

93 shares on X this month:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

48 shares on Twitch this month:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

20 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

94 shares on WeChat this month:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,490

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Making waves on Twitch:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Just landed via Twitch:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Spotted on YouTube:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Trending via Instagram:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Just landed via Telegram:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

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