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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

2 hours ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Shared recently on X:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Just shared via WeChat:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Seen just now on X:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Spotted on Discord:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Just shared via Messenger:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

6 months ago

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎬 "Buckle up, folks! This movie isn't messing around with just love triangles and car chases. No siree! Get ready for the thrilling rollercoaster of 'Adult Themes' including the heart-pounding journey of interest rates, the suspenseful saga of bad knees, the spine-tingling tale of back pain, and the nail-biting excitement of going to bed early! Strap in and prepare to be educatively entertained! 💫🎥"

adult, adult theme, back, back pain, bad, bad knee, bed, early, early bed, excitement, going, interest, interest rate, knee, knees, movie, pain, rate, rates, theme, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

2 hours ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Just landed via Slack:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Reported on Twitch:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Live now on Pinterest:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Going viral on Reddit:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Reported on Telegram:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

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