Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Just landed via Messenger:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Going viral on X:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Going bananas on Discord:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Just shared via WeChat:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Trending via WhatsApp:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a hand towel when you've got a purrsonal assistant? 😂🐱👐"

animal, casual, cat, everyday, hands, humor, hygiene, laundry, pet, sarcasm, sink, towel, washing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

0

2 months ago

after, attitude, bathroom, concern, confidence, drops, embarrassment, even, humor, lion, masculinity, pee, shake, shower, small, sure, urinal
It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, baby, care, embarrassing, embarrassment, face, humor, moment, reaction, silly, silly face
My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

0

2 months ago

changing, computer, consider, defiance, fight, fighting, humor, me, password, sarcasm, street, street fight, streets, technology
Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

0

2 months ago

crazy, driving, highway, humor, McDonald’s, merge, observation, people, perfectly, traffic
I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

0

5 months ago

activity, cost, costs, dollars, free, free time, hobby, i, lawn, management, mowing, need, new, time, time management, zero
Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, listen, man, memory, never, relationship, remember, rule, something, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

62 shares on Threads this month:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Going viral on Messenger:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Spotted on Discord:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Shared recently on X:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Going viral on TikTok:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Going bananas on Threads:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Going viral on Twitch:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨