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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Trending via Slack:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Just shared via Messenger:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Making waves on Telegram:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Making waves on Threads:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Funny holiday-themed quote about the quiet, empty days between Christmas and New Year's.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I think I've reached level 10 in time travel with this holiday limbo! ⏳🧐🎉

31st, Christmas, countdown, date, December, end, end of year, holiday, humor, new, new year, period, time, time period, void, year

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Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Discord this month:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

73 shares on X this month:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Breaking via Reddit:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Live now on X:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Just shared via Messenger:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Just landed via Messenger:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Going viral on Slack:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨