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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Just shared via WeChat:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Going bananas on WeChat:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Live now on Telegram:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Trending via Snapchat:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

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Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.
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Commentary:
"Congratulations on surviving another Thursday! Just remember, it's not a near-death experience, it's just a regular day in adulthood 😅🎉 #AdultingLikeAPro"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

82 shares on X this month:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

65 shares on Slack this month:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you breakdance you buy dance.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Trending via Snapchat:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Broadcasted on X:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Live now on Discord:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Breaking via Messenger:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Live now on Reddit:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Trending via Pinterest:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

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