Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,363

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Making waves on Twitch:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Live now on Snapchat:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Spotted on Facebook:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Making waves on Slack:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Making waves on Reddit:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Spotted on WeChat:

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When making big plans means deciding which comfy pajamas to wear tonight 😂🛌🎉

40s, adult, adult life, aging, big, humor, life, night, plans, tonight, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

0

4 months ago

baby, book, books, humor, i, intelligence, read, reading, sarcasm, smart
I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, communication, dating, flirt, hope, humor, i, just, romance, say, thing, things, weird, weird thing
If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

0

2 months ago

animal, biblical, bring, creativity, drama, every, humor, i, ID, just, Noah, storytelling
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

0

2 months ago

activity, camping, company, coverage, fun, fun activity, i, insurance, stolen, tent
I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

0

1 month ago

attitude, friend, friends, here, humor, just, noise, statement
Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

0

2 months ago

accomplishment, balm, coffee, humor, morning, morning routine, motivation, routine, sweet, task

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

69 shares on Slack this month:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

81 shares on TikTok this month:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

41 shares on Slack this month:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Going viral on Slack:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Making waves on Slack:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Spotted on Facebook:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Trending via Facebook:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Trending via Twitch:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Trending via Discord:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨