Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Spotted on Messenger:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Breaking via Threads:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Breaking via Discord:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning 40: when the assembly instructions are clearer than your knees! 🛠️🪑😭

40s, age, assembling, floor, furniture, getting, getting older, humor, life, life stage, old, older, put, sit, sitting, sitting on floor, stage, together, too, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

67 shares on X this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

45 shares on Threads this month:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Just shared via Discord:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Just landed via YouTube:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Live now on Discord:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Breaking via X:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Going viral on Reddit:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨