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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,735

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Just landed via Messenger:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Freshly posted on X:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Making waves on Telegram:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Shared recently on Threads:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ahoy, fellow 'billionaires'! 🚢💸 Just call me Captain Broke-Beard! 😂🧜‍♂️"

billionaire, current, current event, event, humor, irony, joke, satire, submarine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

1 month ago
frustration, humor, i, irony, patience, patient, take, time, waiting
Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

3 months ago
adulthood, adulting, chore, humor, life, neverending, responsibility, shit, story
Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

1 month ago
bro, entertainment, foreign, foreign language, frustration, humor, language, Netflix, speaking, streaming, subtitles, translate
Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

1 month ago
deserve, expectations, humor, i, mean, morning, proverb, sarcasm, sleep, time, waking, waking up, woke, worm
WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

1 month ago
communication, display, girls, humor, just, ly, relationships, seen, WhatsApp, writing
Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

1 month ago
entertainment, forget, humor, interests, Pornhub, preferences, seeing, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, streaming, wrapped

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Just landed via Discord:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Spotted on Telegram:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Trending via Slack:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Freshly posted on Threads:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Just shared via WeChat:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

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Activity Log ✨

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

I am half agony, half hope.

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

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We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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