Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, clearly your thoughts are loud enough to reach the universe — just not your texts! 🤔📱 Maybe your brain is on "thought mode" but the "reply" button is on airplane mode. 😂✨

awkwardness, friendship, humor, i, mean, miscommunication, never, reach, reaching, reaching out, social, social awkwardness, thought, thoughtfulness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, channel, comedy, entertainment, humor, planet, pretty, satire, self-awareness, sure
This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

0

2 months ago

enthusiasm, humor, melt, own, procrastination, seasonal, shoveling, snow, time, weather, where, winter, year
Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily mood, days, disapproval, head, head shake, humor, mood, myself, self-criticism, self-deprecating, shake, shaking
I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moments, care, comfort, comfortable, dental, dental care, dental hygienist, extra, extra pay, humor, hygienist, i, moments, pay, silence
Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

0

2 months ago

connection, friend, friends, fun, go out, life, lifestyle, mysterious, please, save, social, social life
Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

0

3 months ago

asking, card, confusion, customer, customers, humor, me, payment, say, shit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

26 shares on Facebook this month:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Trending via WeChat:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Shared recently on Instagram:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Just shared via Slack:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Going viral on YouTube:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Trending via Messenger:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨