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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Spotted on Threads:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Trending via Reddit:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Making waves on TikTok:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Making waves on Facebook:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Spotted on Twitch:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Just shared via Telegram:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Making waves on WeChat:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?
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Commentary:
A six-star brain running on half a tank! 🤔🤷‍♂️🤦‍♀️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Discord this month:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

95 shares on X this month:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

83 shares on Slack this month:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

13 shares on X this month:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

19 shares on Discord this month:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

45 shares on X this month:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Spotted on Slack:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Just landed via Messenger:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Just landed via TikTok:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Just shared via Instagram:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

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