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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Going viral on Reddit:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Spreading quickly via X:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Spotted on Slack:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Making waves on Facebook:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Live now on YouTube:

Situationship where the situation is being madly in love with each other.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
It seems Washington is really focused on the important issues here – tackling the age-old problem of messy everything bagels! Perhaps his plan involves implementing tiny bagel bibs or creating a special bagel-eating etiquette course for all citizens. Either way, it's clear that Washington has his priorities straight when it comes to the most pressing matters of our time!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

76 shares on Slack this month:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Just shared via Telegram:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Breaking via X:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Making waves on Facebook:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Just landed via X:

I think my type is a nice person.

Making waves on TikTok:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

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