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Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,980

Funny Quotes Topics

14,788

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Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Trending via WhatsApp:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Making waves on WeChat:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Spotted on Twitch:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

1 day ago

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Commentary:
Looks like we're going into overtime! Better warm up those snacks and settle in for the long haul 😂⏱️🍿🏈

4th, 5, analogy, basketball, both, estimate, five, girl, humor, left, minutes, quarter, sports, sports analogy, Teams, think, time, time estimate, timeout

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Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Reported on X:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Spotted on WeChat:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Seen just now on Discord:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Reported on Snapchat:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Freshly posted on X:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

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When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

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When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

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