When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

23 shares on Threads this month:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

16 shares on Threads this month:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.