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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Going viral on Pinterest:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Just landed via TikTok:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Trending via TikTok:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Live now on Facebook:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Spotted on WeChat:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me when someone else's drama unfolds: 🍿🤩 Bring on the popcorn and let the chaos begin! As for my own drama? Nah, I'll pass on that rollercoaster ride, thanks! 😂 #DramaLlama"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on YouTube this month:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I like you because we hate the same people.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Being awake is the worst.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Going viral on Telegram:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Spotted on YouTube:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Just landed via Instagram:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Shared recently on X:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Just shared via Messenger:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

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