Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,929

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Making waves on Instagram:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Going bananas on Slack:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Going viral on YouTube:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Just shared via Telegram:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Spotted on Threads:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Trending via TikTok:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Freshly posted on Instagram:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, so that's why I always thought the sun was trying to start a rock band ☀️🎸🦗

childhood, cicada, funny thought, heat, hot, i, kid, misconception, nature, outside, real, sound, summer, sunshine, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

0

2 months ago

before, change, changing, humor, i, irony, password, people, politics, president, same, security
I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

0

2 months ago

away, dreams, escape, humor, i, imagination, murder, plan, silly, wake
Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

0

2 months ago

activity, fitted, fitted sheet, folding, home, home activity, household, household task, humor, Olympics, petition, sheet, task
Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

0

2 months ago

board, board game, competition, fun, game, humor, long game, mean, Monopoly, play, strategy
Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

0

2 months ago

communication, couple, couple humor, eye, eye roll, funny relationship, goal, humor, relationship, relationship goal, roll, rolls, sarcasm
My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

0

2 months ago

boom, dating, disappointment, feels, full, humor, humor humor, humor quote, life, lot, love, love life, motorcycle, open, open space, parking, parking lot, relatable, space, spot

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Slack this month:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

13 shares on Discord this month:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Making waves on Instagram:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Just landed via Threads:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Spotted on Slack:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Live now on Instagram:

I would like even faster food.

Trending via YouTube:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Trending via Messenger:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨