Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,231

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Shared recently on Threads:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Live now on Facebook:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Live now on Pinterest:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Just landed via Discord:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Trending via Threads:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Trending via TikTok:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between appreciating the fancy attire and eagerly awaiting its swift removal 🤭💃🚀 #FashionVsDesire"

attraction, dating, desire, dress, fashion, humor, nice, taking, taking off, think, thrill

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

0

5 months ago

caught, cream, diet, dieting, eat, eating, food, going, humor, husband, i, ice, ice cream, last, last night, night, relationship, second, spouse, together
She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

0

2 months ago

appliance, asked, cooking, date, humor, i, joke, kitchen, magic, maker, sandwich, where
Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

0

1 month ago

humor, insignificant, insignificant other, oh, relationship, sarcasm
I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

0

2 months ago

ages, bet, cool, cooler, doom, doom scroll, entertainment, history, humor, i, irony, meant, middle, Middle Ages, scroll, something, technology
“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

0

2 months ago

carefree, end, everything, excuse, going, heat, humor, joke, procrastination, season, seasonal, summer
Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

0

2 months ago

animal, back, conversation, crazy, hearing, humor, imagination, talk, talking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Discord this month:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

21 shares on X this month:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

45 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Dear music, thanks!

Going viral on Facebook:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Making waves on Pinterest:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Trending via Pinterest:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Spotted on X:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Going viral on Discord:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Making waves on YouTube:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Just landed via Threads:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨