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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,474

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Trending via Snapchat:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Trending via Facebook:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Live now on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Just landed via Slack:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🏝️😂 Sign me up for 'Hate Island': where the theme song is just the sound of closing browser tabs!

commentary, hate, humor, island, link, Love Island, me, sarcasm, social, social commentary, somebody

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

0

2 weeks ago

angry, Angry Bird, assault, bird, birds, bong, disgusting, game, humor, me, parody, video, video game
If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

0

2 months ago

am, catch, chances, humor, i, me, mischief, plotting, revenge, sarcasm, smiling, wit
As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

0

5 months ago

again, alive, begin, humor, i, life, perseverance, repetition
He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

0

1 month ago

asking, Christmas, Christmas light, decoration, feet, holiday, holiday preparation, light, lights, preparation, realize, relationship, Saturday, surprise, task, untangling
Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

0

2 months ago

accusation, AI, claim, era, false, false claim, getting, humor, misunderstanding, modern, modern era, suspicion, technology, trial, using, version, witch, witch trial
There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situations, clip, funny moments, good, grooming, humor, library, moments, never, place, public, public space, situations, space, toenails

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Just shared via Telegram:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Freshly posted on X:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Trending via Slack:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Just shared via Reddit:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Trending via Pinterest:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Just shared via Reddit:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨