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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Going viral on TikTok:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Trending via Reddit:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Going bananas on Slack:

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

Seen just now on Threads:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Making waves on Instagram:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Shared recently on Slack:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Going viral on Twitch:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Breaking via Instagram:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about laughing at your own thoughts while others watch in surprise.

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Commentary:
"When your brain becomes the unintentional comedian and suddenly you're the star of the awkward show! 😂🤦‍♂️"}

accidentally, awkwardness, embarrassment, funny moment, humor, laugh, laughter, moment, own, people, self-awareness, social, social awkwardness, staring, thoughts

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59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

22 shares on Slack this month:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

10 shares on X this month:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Just shared via Facebook:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Breaking via WeChat:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Making waves on WeChat:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Live now on Pinterest:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Trending via Discord:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

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Activity Log ✨

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Keep the laugh going 😂

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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