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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Making waves on X:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Just landed via Discord:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Spotted on Twitch:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Freshly posted on X:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Just landed via Snapchat:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

2 months ago

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"When your brain becomes the unintentional comedian and suddenly you're the star of the awkward show! 😂🤦‍♂️"}

accidentally, awkwardness, embarrassment, funny moment, humor, laugh, laughter, moment, own, people, self-awareness, social, social awkwardness, staring, thoughts

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Slack this month:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

64 shares on Threads this month:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

This meeting could have been a cake.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Spotted on X:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Going viral on Discord:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Breaking via Discord:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Spotted on Telegram:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Just shared via Pinterest:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Trending via Instagram:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

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Activity Log ✨

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

They should name a personality disorder after me.

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

They should name a personality disorder after me.

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨