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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

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Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

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Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

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Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

337 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,930

Funny Quotes Topics

17,099

Funny Quotes Images

14,930

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,989

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Freshly posted on X:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Live now on Telegram:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Going viral on Twitch:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Making waves on Reddit:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why did the mosquito slap me and call it 'human karma'? 🤔🦟😂"

annoyance, funny insult, humor, humor quote, insult, mosquito, prank, sarcasm, say, slap, someone, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

1 month ago

demon, exorcist, hear, humor, i, joke, Ka-Ching, money, new, paranormal, poor, possession, soul, spirituality, think, whenever
Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

3 weeks ago

AI, imagination, imagine, money, spending, spent, technology, train, transportation
Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

4 months ago

another, daily, daily routine, day, God, gratitude, humor, routine, screen, screen time, technology, thank, thank you, time
You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

1 month ago

comment, communication, dating, etiquette, free, humor, joke, just, legal, media, nice, people, photo, relationship, social, social media, three
In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

5 months ago

20, anyone, car, comparison, confusion, driving, fly, headlights, hop, humor, i, just, knows, minutes, movie, movie comparison, rental, rental car, spaceship, spent, star, Star Wars, trying, wars
A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

5 months ago

destruction, knows, metaphor, nature, rage, storm

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Making waves on Instagram:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

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When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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