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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,546

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,546

Nov 27, 2025

3,800

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Breaking via TikTok:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Making waves on YouTube:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Trending via Instagram:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Spotted on Messenger:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Making waves on Slack:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Going viral on Discord:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Spotted on X:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

2 weeks ago

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤯 The stress levels go through the roof when the parental request for a pen hits you during their crucial call! It's like the ultimate test of your pen-finding abilities under pressure. 🔍😅 Good luck dodging the relentless quest for the missing pen in those nail-biting moments! 🖊️📞 #ParentalPenPressure

ask, call, funny situation, humor, man, parents, pen, pressure, real, relatable, relatable humor, situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,546

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,546

Nov 27, 2025

3,626

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Windmill? Big fan.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Trending via X:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Spotted on Reddit:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Spotted on Telegram:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Going viral on WeChat:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Spotted on WeChat:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

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