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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

1 minute ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Just shared via Telegram:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Freshly posted on X:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Making waves on Instagram:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Trending via X:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Spotted on Twitch:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Just landed via Telegram:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

3 months ago

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

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Commentary:
🤯 The stress levels go through the roof when the parental request for a pen hits you during their crucial call! It's like the ultimate test of your pen-finding abilities under pressure. 🔍😅 Good luck dodging the relentless quest for the missing pen in those nail-biting moments! 🖊️📞 #ParentalPenPressure

ask, call, funny situation, humor, man, parents, pen, pressure, real, relatable, relatable humor, situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

1 minute ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Just landed via Twitch:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Freshly posted on X:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Shared recently on X:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Reported on Telegram:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

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