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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Seen just now on Threads:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Making waves on Reddit:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Going viral on Twitch:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Just landed via Reddit:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

4 days ago

Playful quote about parental pressure during phone calls, highlighting relatable family moments.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤯 The stress levels go through the roof when the parental request for a pen hits you during their crucial call! It's like the ultimate test of your pen-finding abilities under pressure. 🔍😅 Good luck dodging the relentless quest for the missing pen in those nail-biting moments! 🖊️📞 #ParentalPenPressure

ask, call, funny situation, humor, man, parents, pen, pressure, real, relatable, relatable humor, situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Twitch this month:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

71 shares on Discord this month:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

33 shares on Threads this month:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

38 shares on Messenger this month:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-cleaning conscience.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Spotted on Facebook:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Making waves on WeChat:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Trending via X:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Live now on Pinterest:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

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