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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,896

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Going viral on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Going viral on Threads:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Spotted on Discord:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Going viral on Messenger:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Just shared via Twitch:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Going viral on Reddit:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

2 months ago

0

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal dilemma of life – to sandwich or not to sandwich, that is the question! 🥪😂 It's a tough call when you're torn between your love for breakfast sandwiches and anything else that's not a breakfast sandwich. The struggle is real, my friend! #SandwichGoals

breakfast, craving, eating, food, humor, i, sandwich, whenever, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

0

2 months ago

adaptation, bit, carbs, diet, doing, eating, evolution, exercise, exercising, fitness, human, humor, joke, never, race
I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

0

2 months ago

6, away, distance, feet, humor, i, kind, miss, pandemic, people, social, space
Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

0

4 months ago

brain, confusion, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, inner, inner voice, love, memory, refuses, reminder, something, thought, voice
My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

0

5 months ago

am, complaining, day, deprivation, fatigue, favorite, humor, i, late, later, next, pastime, procrastination, should, sleep, sleep deprivation, staying, staying up late, tired
Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

0

2 months ago

40s, aging, exhausted, face, humor, just, self-deprecation, welcome
Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

0

2 months ago

backwards, crush, fun, humor, joke, name, playfulness, relationship, spell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

66 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

All I think about is death and sex.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,711

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Seen just now on YouTube:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Spotted on Twitch:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Trending via Instagram:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Trending via Discord:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

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