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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

7 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Trending via X:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Going viral on Threads:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Spotted on Reddit:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Making waves on Reddit:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

4 months ago

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal dilemma of life – to sandwich or not to sandwich, that is the question! 🥪😂 It's a tough call when you're torn between your love for breakfast sandwiches and anything else that's not a breakfast sandwich. The struggle is real, my friend! #SandwichGoals

breakfast, craving, eating, food, humor, i, sandwich, whenever, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

7 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Just shared via Slack:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Making waves on TikTok:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Making waves on Telegram:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Spotted on Twitch:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Making waves on X:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

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