Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,479

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Trending via Instagram:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Going viral on Discord:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Spotted on Telegram:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Going bananas on X:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Just landed via Discord:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal dilemma of life – to sandwich or not to sandwich, that is the question! 🥪😂 It's a tough call when you're torn between your love for breakfast sandwiches and anything else that's not a breakfast sandwich. The struggle is real, my friend! #SandwichGoals

breakfast, craving, eating, food, humor, i, sandwich, whenever, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Discord this month:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

77 shares on Twitch this month:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

6 folks are currently checking 👀

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m sick of living through history!

Shared recently on TikTok:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

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