Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Trending via WeChat:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Shared recently on Discord:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Live now on Slack:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Trending via Reddit:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Just shared via Messenger:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Just shared via TikTok:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Dear voodoo doll holder, my grades are in your hands now! 😂📚✨"

doll, humor, joke, magic, playful, please, prank, sarcasm, study, supernatural, voodoo, voodoo doll

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

0

2 months ago

advice, book, buy, humor, irony, joke, psychology, reverse, reverse psychology, writing
If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

0

2 months ago

able, casual, casual dining, dining, dog, dogs, face, fast, fast food, food, hot, hot dog, humor, joke, McDonald’s, order, restaurant, satire, sold, straight, tell, wordplay
I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

0

2 months ago

A.I., AI, boyfriend, dating, humor, i, relationship, sorry, technology
Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

0

2 months ago

crazy, mindset, person, perspective, think, thinking, understand, understanding
Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

0

4 months ago

asked, class, education, German, Germany, humor, intelligence, mathematician, people, physicist, response, rich, social, social class, stereotype, wealth, why, woman
I put the mess in domestic.

0

2 months ago

chaos, domestic, household, humor, i, mess, put, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Breaking via Discord:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Going bananas on Slack:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Trending via Pinterest:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Going bananas on Discord:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

I put the mess in domestic.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨