Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Breaking via Slack:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Just landed via WeChat:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Just shared via WeChat:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Going viral on Reddit:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Spotted on Instagram:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Spotted on Telegram:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whoever is dating my ex, better bring a cheat sheet! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 #DodgingTheBullet"

advice, cheat, date, dating, ex, humor, i, relationship, say

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

2 months ago

class, confusion, education, foreign, foreign movie, humor, learning, math, me, movie, subtitle, watching
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

3 months ago

age, bonk, Christmas, empty, fun, gift, head, holiday, humor, old, over, playful, someone, still, thing, tradition, tube, wrapping, wrapping tube
Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

2 months ago

another, cars, community, conflict, cops, front, gossip, house, humor, likes, neighbors, nothing, tension, together
No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

3 months ago

cartoons, ease, fine, humor, i, little, relaxation, stupidness
I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

2 months ago

balance, dilemma, humor, i, lifestyle, live, money, need, priorities, save, saving, spending
Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

2 months ago

agenda, event, hear, humor, irony, me, party, people, reveal, social, social event, trust

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Telegram this month:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

64 shares on Threads this month:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

32 shares on WeChat this month:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Spotted on Slack:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Going viral on TikTok:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Live now on Reddit:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Spotted on Discord:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨