Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

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I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

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I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

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Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

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It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

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Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

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How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

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When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.