Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,753

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Spotted on Messenger:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Seen just now on Discord:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Going viral on X:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Making waves on Threads:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Spotted on Telegram:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Breaking via X:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

4 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about relationships, suggesting cheeky advice with playful wit.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whoever is dating my ex, better bring a cheat sheet! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 #DodgingTheBullet"

advice, cheat, date, dating, ex, humor, i, relationship, say

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

32 shares on X this month:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Just shared via YouTube:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Going viral on X:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Freshly posted on X:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Breaking via Discord:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Just landed via Twitch:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Making waves on Discord:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Making waves on TikTok:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Keep the laugh going 😂

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨