Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Just landed via Facebook:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Trending via Instagram:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Just shared via Facebook:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Going viral on Reddit:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Just landed via X:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Live now on Discord:

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whoever is dating my ex, better bring a cheat sheet! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 #DodgingTheBullet"

advice, cheat, date, dating, ex, humor, i, relationship, say

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

2 months ago

board, board game, game, humor, irony, jail, luxury, luxury tax, money, Monopoly, old, old game, people, person, rich, rich person, tax, tell, wealth
No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

2 months ago

date, humor, i, interest, irony, me, men, only, relationship, sarcasm, thank
Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

2 weeks ago

date, different, funny date, Hooters, humor, joke, night, night off, restaurant, taking, waitress
Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

2 months ago

again, britney, Britney Spears, celebrity, cream, culture, funny job, humor, i, ice, ice cream, ice-cream shop, job, pop, pop culture, pun, Scoops, shop, spears, working
Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

2 months ago

come over, everywhere, hair, humor, i, mess, over, pet, shed, visit
Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

4 months ago

comparison, cube, funny comparison, ice, ice cube, laptop, melting, outside, sunbathing, trying, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Messenger this month:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

81 shares on Telegram this month:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

55 shares on Telegram this month:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Spotted on Reddit:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Spotted on WeChat:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Going viral on Threads:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Shared recently on X:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Breaking via Telegram:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Trending via WeChat:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Going viral on Facebook:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨