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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Going viral on Slack:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Trending via Discord:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Just landed via Reddit:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Going viral on YouTube:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

Broadcasted on Reddit:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Just shared via WeChat:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

13 hours ago

Witty text expressing career frustration with a humorous twist about desire for success to come to you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the elusive pursuit of a career! 🏃‍♂️ Sometimes it feels like we're the ones doing all the chasing, doesn't it? 🤷‍♀️ Maybe it's time to turn the tables and play hard to get with those job offers! 😜💼 #ChaseMeIfYouCan"

aspiration, career, humor, irony, job, life, me, pursue, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

73 shares on Threads this month:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Fries, not lies.

18 shares on Slack this month:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Making waves on Telegram:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Just shared via Twitch:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Freshly posted on Discord:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Spotted on Telegram:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Just shared via Slack:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

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