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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

26 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Spotted on TikTok:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Trending via Telegram:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Reported on X:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Just shared via Instagram:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Trending via X:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Just landed via Twitch:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

3 months ago

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the elusive pursuit of a career! 🏃‍♂️ Sometimes it feels like we're the ones doing all the chasing, doesn't it? 🤷‍♀️ Maybe it's time to turn the tables and play hard to get with those job offers! 😜💼 #ChaseMeIfYouCan"

aspiration, career, humor, irony, job, life, me, pursue, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

26 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Pinterest:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Making waves on Discord:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Making waves on Twitch:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Just shared via Facebook:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Trending via Discord:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Just shared via Twitch:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

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