Commentary:
"Well, I guess fat is just too clingy to let go. It just can't resist hanging around for the long haul, unlike those socks that mysteriously disappear in the laundry!"
New funny quotes ✨
Commentary:
Looks like trying to find that elusive movie on your 13 streaming services is the real plot twist of the night 🎬💸 Who needs a scavenger hunt when you can just pay $2.99 for a movie marathon entertainment? 🍿😂
Commentary:
🌱☀️ "It's like the plant is the ultimate drama queen of the garden! 'Oh no, too much sunlight, I just can't handle it!' Come on, buddy, you're literally from the great outdoors! Get it together, plant!" 😂🌿
Commentary:
"Well, that spiderweb video was a crucial part of my phone's memory bank for so long, but it's time to make space for more important things like 100 more cat memes 📱🕷️🕸️ #PrioritiesShifted"
Commentary:
Ah, a true cupid of unconventional tastes! 💘🏹 Who needs arrows when you have baby Cupids with their tiny bows, aiming for hearts with pinpoint accuracy? 😄 Those Valentine's Day shenanigans have got nothing on you and your unique approach to romance! 😉 #CupidJunior
Commentary:
"Every gangster's bravado fades away when the ominous ding-dong of the doorbell echoes through the house. 🚪🔔 It's the ultimate reality check of adulthood – answer the door or live in denial as a reclusive mob boss! 😂"
Commentary:
"Remember, parents are just winging it too! 🤷♂️🤦♀️ After all, who needs a manual when you can create one with trial and error? 😂 #Parenting101 #MistakesWereMade"
Commentary:
"Adulting is like a twisted game of Monopoly – except instead of collecting $100, you're suddenly drowning in $1000 debt 🎲💸 #TheRealBoardGameOfLife"
Commentary:
"When is the best time to visit the Maldives? When your wallet is feeling hefty and your bank account is singing 'hallelujah! 💸☀️🏝️' It's all about that perfect timing in more ways than one! #TravelGoals"
Commentary:
🤣 Sure, just be prepared to leave a part of yourself behind for posterity! 🐾 Who needs a fancy rug when you've got a friend like me shedding everywhere, right? 🙈 #FriendshipGoals #PetHairEverywhere
Commentary:
"Does anyone else feel personally victimized by Monday's relentless return? 🙄 Let's petition to replace it with a second Sunday, who's with me? 🙌 #MondaySlander"