Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”
  • Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.
  • Time is precious, waste it wisely.
  • Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.
  • Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.
  • Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.