Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Making waves on WeChat:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Going viral on Reddit:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Spotted on Discord:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally appreciating the personal throne after a week of questionable toilet paper quality! 🚽😂🏠

bathroom, comfort, coming, home, own, pleasure, sheer, talking, using, vacation, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

0

2 months ago

animal, Booboo, boy, humor, name, nickname, owner, pet, pet name, Snoopy, thicky, Thicky Boy
I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

0

3 days ago

change, city, city life, good, humor, i, life, life change, me, miserable, misery, move, need, new, New York, sarcasm, think, york
Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

0

7 days ago

enemy, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, interaction, social, social interaction, store
Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

0

4 months ago

emotion, emotionally, humor, joke, jokes, laugh, own, self-awareness, stability, stable
Have you tried complaining about it?

0

2 months ago

advice, complaining, complaint, humor, sarcasm, suggestion, tried
Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

0

2 months ago

adults, grow, grow up, humor, irony, maturity, people, sarcasm, seen, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on WeChat this month:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

68 shares on Threads this month:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Trending via Messenger:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Trending via TikTok:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Live now on Snapchat:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Going bananas on Threads:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Just shared via WeChat:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Live now on Discord:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Have you tried complaining about it?

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨