Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Saturday and Sunday sprint by faster than Usain Bolt, while Monday drags on like a never-ending marathon! 🏃‍♂️⏰😫 Who knew time could be so selective?! #MondayBlues"

4, duration, humor, minutes, Monday, months, over, perception, Saturday, Sunday, time, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

0

2 months ago

adult, age, humor, irony, maturity, me, mistake, people, self-perception
The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

0

2 months ago

child, drum, drum solo, flight, hours, humor, LA, longest, me, minutes, music, performance, sitting, solo, Tokyo, travel
Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

0

2 months ago

being, challenges, crazy, favorite, favorite things, humor, irony, least, profession, services, social, social services, social worker, things, worker
With great power comes a huge electric bill.

0

2 months ago

bill, cost, electric, electric bill, electricity, energy, great, huge, humor, joke, power, responsibility
What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

0

2 months ago

aliens, culture, fiction, fitting, hopes, humor, imagination, invasion, movy, parody, science, science fiction, watch
I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

0

2 months ago

advice, am, capable, humor, i, independence, life, need, own, ruining, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Discord this month:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

29 shares on X this month:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Going viral on Facebook:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Spotted on Reddit:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Freshly posted on Discord:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨