Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Saturday and Sunday sprint by faster than Usain Bolt, while Monday drags on like a never-ending marathon! 🏃‍♂️⏰😫 Who knew time could be so selective?! #MondayBlues"

4, duration, humor, minutes, Monday, months, over, perception, Saturday, Sunday, time, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

0

2 months ago

again, beauty, beauty routine, blow-drying, grooming, humor, legs, need, routine, self-care, shave, time, too
It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

0

2 months ago

animal, camel, Carl, desert, horse, humor, i, name, rental, return, return trip, through, travel, trip, true
Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, course, fitness, fitness joke, humor, image, joke, ready, same, sarcasm, self-deprecating, summer, summer body, summer humor, sweat, winter, winter body, winter humor
Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

0

2 months ago

commuting, driver, driving, fault, front, frustration, guy, humor, impatience, jam, road, traffic, traffic jam
Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

0

2 months ago

effort, humor, lazy, need, philosophy, procrastination, reach, rule
Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

0

2 months ago

comfort, home, media, meet, meeting, own, social, social media, thanks, weirdo, weirdos

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

All I think about is death and sex.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

56 shares on Discord this month:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

42 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Trending via Pinterest:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Just landed via Discord:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Going bananas on X:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Just shared via Messenger:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Broadcasted on X:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨