Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Making waves on Instagram:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Trending via Telegram:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Spotted on Messenger:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Live now on WeChat:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Spotted on Telegram:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

1 month ago

Witty text about avoiding new mistakes by sticking to familiar ones, humorous and playful.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Same old mistakes: the comfort food of life! 🍕😂🔁

habit, humor, irony, keep, learning, mistake, mistakes, new, old, ones, procrastination, repetition, same, self-awareness, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

20 shares on Threads this month:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

15 shares on X this month:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

58 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Shared recently on Discord:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Seen just now on Messenger:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Shared recently on Messenger:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Going viral on Twitch:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨