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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Breaking via WeChat:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Just shared via Twitch:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Trending via Snapchat:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Breaking via Twitch:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Making waves on Reddit:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Trending via Facebook:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Just landed via Threads:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a speech when a sassy eyebrow can do all the talking? 💁‍♂️💬 Less is more, darling! 😉"

communication, expression, eyebrow, gestures, humor, raised, raised eyebrow, simplicity, statement, waste, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

0

2 days ago

education, fake, glad, humor, i, international, international law, law, legal, legal study, meaningless, sarcasm, seeing, study, studying, time, waste, waste of time
Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

0

2 months ago

biting, decades, eating, even, example, experience, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, mistake, perfect, screw, screw up, still, tongue, tongue biting, while
My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

0

1 month ago

anyone, body, emotion, ever, handle, humor, love, loving, relationship, romantic, romantic relationship, self-deprecation, stress
Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

0

2 months ago

adult, childhood, embarrassment, humiliating, humor, injury, knee, pain, toddler
What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, dating, flirting, humor, moment, question, right, woman
I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

0

2 months ago

different, doing, doing nothing, fashion, five, humor, i, just, nothing, outfit, outfits, procrastination, relaxation, wait, waiting, week, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Facebook this month:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

57 shares on Messenger this month:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My toxic trait is optimism.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

49 shares on Discord this month:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Trending via Slack:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Trending via Facebook:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨