Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Trending via Reddit:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Trending via WeChat:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Breaking via Facebook:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Just shared via X:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Freshly posted on X:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Making waves on Messenger:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Spotted on Discord:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Just shared via Twitch:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

3 weeks ago

Witty text questioning divine justice with a humorous twist on hell and disobedience.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like Satan's running one very confusing employee training program down there! 🔥😈🙃

disobedience, faith, God, hell, humor, irony, people, question, religion, same, Satan, torture, why

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

97 shares on X this month:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

10 shares on Slack this month:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Trending via YouTube:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Breaking via Slack:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Live now on WeChat:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨