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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Making waves on Messenger:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Just landed via Snapchat:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Spotted on TikTok:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Going viral on Messenger:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Winnie the Pooh's summer fashion sense: crop tops and sweet pots! Fashion tip of the century 🍯🐻🔥

clothing, crop, crop top, heat, honey, honey pot, humor, idea, pooh, pot, right, summer, top, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

0

2 months ago

care, days, humor, i, man, memory, nostalgia, remember, weather, younger, younger man
I’m ready to try another planet.

0

2 months ago

adventure, another, exploration, humor, planet, ready, space, travel, try
So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

0

2 months ago

before, died, Elvis, Lego, mama, movie, sad
Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

0

1 month ago

confusion, haystack, humor, irony, needle, question, why
Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

1

5 months ago

beverage, coke, diet, Diet Coke, gunshot, gunshot wound, humor, injury, ironic, ironic remedy, pain, pain relief, relief, remedy, wound
You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

0

2 months ago

appetite, asked, bottomless, bottomless pit, eater, food, humor, i, kid, lunch, meal, parenting, picky, picky eater, pit, thanks, want, yesterday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Twitch this month:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

39 shares on Discord this month:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

82 shares on Threads this month:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Live now on Reddit:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Just shared via X:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Live now on WhatsApp:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Trending via Threads:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

I’m ready to try another planet.

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨